The Dutch love efficiency and leading someone on can be a waste of everybody's time.You can find that both Dutch men and women cut out flirting and small-talk in favour of simply stating one's desire or intentions.While many foreigners initially find dating in the Netherlands daunting or inaccessible, understanding Dutch personality traits and mentality can help reduce miscommunicating the ‘flirting' signals as practised by Dutch women and Dutch men.Of course, similar to elsewhere, online dating in the Netherlands is increasingly becoming the norm as taboos are shed, particularly among older daters.Similarly, in the Netherlands compliments are not given nor received easily, and outlandish compliments can be perceived as fake by the Dutch.Relying on the Dutch penchant for modesty and honesty, your compliments should be the same.Forget the sugar-coating – being down-to-earth and direct will earn a lot more points with a Dutch man or Dutch girls. Friends also usually kiss three times on the cheek in greeting; some strangers may kiss when being introduced to someone through a common friend, although a handshake is more common. It is not uncommon to split the bill on the first date – right down to the last cent's worth of what you ate – regardless of whether your're dating a Dutch man or woman.While neither Dutch women nor Dutch men are renowned for being touchy on a first date, direct eye contact is the norm so don't be put off if someone is staring your way. This shouldn't come as a surprise considering you are in the country that gave name to the phrase 'going Dutch' (splitting a bill).
There are less ‘rules’ about when to call back, kiss or spend the night, and actions are based more on instinct rather than an unwritten play book.This has changed the Dutch dating game in some respects as 'first dates' are moving to online dating platforms and social media.However, some facts in the Dutch dating game remain true regardless of where you meet new people in the Netherlands.It also comes down to the Dutch laid-back attitude, which tends to extend to clothes (and makeup), so you may want to take it down a notch if you're used to getting very gussied up for a date.
Don't take it personally if your date shows up in sneakers or arrives at a fancy event in jeans.
Either way, be prepared that a date is not always going to be free ride, nor will free drinks in bars be that forthcoming from Dutch men.